


Like

by gemjam



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-29
Updated: 2012-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-08 20:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemjam/pseuds/gemjam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for flashfic prompt <i>I can't be him for you.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Like

He looks into Lewis’s eyes and he knows he can’t give him what he needs. Lewis responds best when he has something to prove, something to rail against. Adrian can’t offer him that vitriol that makes everything feel more real and alive. It has nothing to do with any romantic ideas about love. He just _likes_ Lewis too much.

He’s tempted to just let Lewis turn him over, fuck him from behind, pretend. He’s still a poor substitute though, he knows that. Spanish is a flowing, beautiful language. His own German sounds harsh, biting, accusatory in response. He’s hard in all the wrong places, soft in all the wrong places too. He feels like a negative with all the colour bled out, the opposite of what he’s supposed to be.

He doesn’t blame Lewis. Adrian’s a big boy, he can make his own decisions. He doesn’t have to be here. Lewis has other distractions; groupies and wins and his own right hand. He has memories that burn, a litany of mistakes that tumble out whenever he’s drunk, a raging passion for exactly the wrong kind of person. No, not kind of person, just the wrong person. Until Lewis works out that you can never really mend a broken heart, that stickytape and prayers just don’t do the job, he’ll never move on.

So Adrian has plenty of reasons to stay away, but not quite the self-preservation to do so. That _like_ keeps dragging him back. _Like_ is so much more dangerous than _love_.

Lewis looks away as he pushes himself inside Adrian’s body, eyes flicking to the side, shying away from the lies Adrian won’t tell him. Lewis has never really understood how to take approval anymore than he’s learnt to accept losing. He’s not so much a martyr as a sad little boy. Adrian knows that he hates that about himself and he also knows that he takes Adrian’s concern as pity, the lowest emotion there is.

And so maybe he hates Adrian, hates him for liking him when he doesn’t deserve it, but it’s not enough. It doesn’t inspire the loathing that he has for... someone else. In the end, they’re just two people who _like_ each other. A damning conclusion indeed.


End file.
